Friday Fishbird Flicks : “Murder on the Orient Express”

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Friday Fishbird Flicks 📽 – wherein I watch a movie that everyone has already seen, and talk very briefly about it so we can get on with other things 🤩.

This week I bought a fake ticket on the Orient Express! Toot toot! (* insert steam engine fog horn noise here) 🗻🛤🚂😀

“Murder on the Orient Express” filmed in 2017, stars Kenneth Branagh, Johnny Depp, A Fancy Moustache, Judy Dench, Willem Dafoe, two dogs, Derek Jacobi, Michelle Pfeiffer and a selection of delicious looking cakes.

I gave this troublesome train tale 7 Fishbirds out of 10.

I love Ken Branagh, and happily let Poirot’s moustache get started on solving train crime while I tried to crack the case of why Ken’s eyes were so blue 😍 – contacts? I then fell down an Emma Thompson research rabbit hole, lost time looking at google images, and realised I’d better get back to the movie.

I’m watching you, Judy Dench! 😍

I assume you’re all across the story, seeing how Agatha Christie wrote it in 1934 and you’ve had plenty of time to read it, or see one of the kajillion remakes. Basically Johnny Depp gets stabbed on a train during a scenic landslide while Michelle Pfeiffer tries to find a husband (or does she?!?) and Olivia Coleman eats cake with Judy Dench. Also there are two dogs ON THE TRAIN! 😃

The acting is great, the scenery is beautiful, but overall the picture is a bit boring. If you’re as good a friend with Poirot as I am, then you know that his moustache is going to solve the mystery licketty-split.

Apart from waiting to see if Pfeiffer’s forehead moves, or how many times Depp can brood into the background – there’s not a lot of suspense. You do need to watch it though, on account of Judi Dench is a world treasure – despite mostly just looking shocked in this particular film. She’s so lovely.

I paired this movie with a few glasses of Botobolar Organic Shiraz, squeezed Dench and Branagh in an appreciative hug, and Poiroted into the sunset like a free woman. 🎥🎞

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