Friday Fishbird Flicks 📽 – wherein I watch a movie that everyone has already seen, and talk very briefly about it so we can get on with other things 🤩.
This week I made the mistake of not looking at reviews and watched “Amityville : The Awakening” – a 2017 addition to the Amityville Horror franchise, that you can be haunted by on Stan for free.
Featuring Bella Thorne, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Jennifer Morrison and Cameron Monaghan, this is not a good movie . I gave it 4 out of a disappointed 10 Fishbirds.
I read the books in January this year and put those down when Archangel Michael appeared on the beach for no reason as a kind of lifeguard. I should have learned my lesson, but I’m a sucker for a haunted house story 😍🏡
Twenty minutes into this film, I wanted to salt the bones and go back to watching YouTube.
There weren’t great messages in this flick – basically we had a creepy disabled kid, and a teen female lead that was blamed for his accident on account of it was really her fault that her ex bullied her online.
I also had a lot of trouble believing that the goth teen would have no idea she was moving to one of the most well known haunted houses ever – all the previous films made are referenced in the movie by other teens in her peer group.
Even my husband knows Amityville is evil and the scariest pop culture he’s consumed is the movie “Ponyo” (which I should have watched instead).
What DID I like about the movie? Jennifer Morrison’s acting was natural and refreshing. I also thought it was funny when a bunch of ghost flies flew into Dr Milton’s mouth and he didn’t tell anyone, just left the family to their haunting.
Oh, and when it was pointed out that the previous tenants just wallpapered over all the blood on the walls – so lazy! And the dog – I always like the dog 🙂🐕
I paired this demonic disaster with a few glasses of George The Wizard Cabernet Sauvignon, and poured a ring of sage flavoured rock salt around my living room for good measure.