Friday Fishbird Flicks 📽 – wherein I watch a movie that everyone has already seen, and talk very briefly about it so we can get on with other things 🤩.
This week I watched the 2018 reboot of “Tomb Raider” starring Alicia Vikander, Dominic West, Walton Goggins, Daniel Wu, Nick Frost, Derek Jacobi and Kristin Scott Thomas.
This movie is exactly what you think it will be, minus Angelina Jolie.
I think Alicia Vikander did a good job as Lara Croft and as far as tomb raiding goes, this one does what it says on the tin. It just didn’t give me anything new.
Frankly, I’m a bit sick of people unearthing mysterious mummies.
Imagine you’ve discovered an evil witch entombed in a forgotten location – would you keep intricate notes so your nemesis can let her out? No! Keep the details in your mind palace and go to sleep!
All the father/daughter stuff was a bit cloying – though I did cry in parts, so shut up about it.
We learned that if you don’t go to uni, you’ll be great at jungle aerobics & if you’re a stupid genius, you’ll get trapped in a pyramid.
Also, have these Croft’s not seen Indiana Jones? I would have taken a pocket full of marbles, eight loaves of bread and a talking tarantula to light my way (and solve the puzzles).
6 Fishbirds out of 10.
I paired this film with a few glasses of Craftsman Naturally Organic Shiraz, and traded an old lady five bags of kidney beans for the key to a fitted out underground lair.
If you’re looking for me, I’ve left directions carved into a zucchini in the crisper.